User:Somercy/The Nineten Spam Battle

I remember being in the parlor of the Pages Tavern in Caldera on that sunny day, chatting leisurely with Wylliam Walrus, a Nord who had recently become an Editor, and Eshe, a Redguard who I had just met, though apparently she was a well-respected editor, known for being a friendly and helpful agent. The two of them were in Caldera on their way to the Caldera Ebony Mines.

We were all relaxed, and in a relatively good mood, when I heard a faint buzzing sound from outside. Then, Robius yelled frantically upstairs at up--"Spammers! Help! Eshe, Wylliam! Alegna!"

Needless to say, we rushed down the stairs to see what the matter was. Robius was clutching his sword (an enchanted blade that he usually kept under the bar to deal with rowdy customers), and looked frightened out of his skull. I was confused.

"What are spammers?"

An actual spammer.

Eshe answered, her eyes ablaze with something not unlike the berserker-rage that Orcs can access. "They're bugs, plain and simple. Some folks say that they're like Dwemer centurions, automated creatures. All I know is that they spit out these sticky fibers called links faster that a single person can cut them down."

"Then how do we deal with them?"

This time Wylliam answered. "Quickly." He opened the door and stepped into what looked like a light blue cloud. It swallowed him whole, but seconds later, I saw the silvery flash of his axe.

I stepped outside, too, drawing my enchanted knife to summon the flame atronach, Boadicea. She immediately started to attack the spammers, her fiery blasts cutting huge swathes out of the swarm. I put the knife away and joined her, using similar fire-based spells. Behind me, Eshe jumped into the fray with a mace, swinging with wild fervor.

As we fought, the spammers sprayed links liberally, so that we were too busy dealing with the sticky threads to actually attack them. Boadicea and I found that they were easily burnt, but for every group of threads we removed, ten more appeared. We fought hard, but were weary.

"Don't worry," Wylliam panted. "Robius snuck out. I think he's going to get help."

"Indeed," a familiar voice called above the droning of the spammers' wings. "Watch this." I looked through the swarm to see Lurlock holding a scroll. He used the script to banish all the spammers. Then, he looked the three of us over (Boadicea had since vanished, and I was too busy to resummon her). "Are you okay?"

Eshe answered for us. "Fine. What was that scroll?"

"Scroll of Blacklist. Only certain people get them. Robius knew I had one. Though he may get one soon, I think." Lurlock grinned wildly, and even treated us to lunch, which we were all quite grateful for, after that battle.