Tamriel Data:Legends of Athalwyrm the Clever-Man

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Legends of Athalwyrm the Clever-Man

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On the Matter of Taxes

[Translator's Note: In the tongue of the ancient Nords there was no requirement for marking of plurals or separation of nouns and adjectives, therefore some conflations and confusions were possible which are not so in our modern language. These linguistic features seem to form the basis of many of the arguments attributed to Athalwyrm, so we have tried to render the ambiguities faithfully in translation.]

Athalwyrm the Clever-Man, before he became the Lawspeaker of Hrothgar, was an ordinary merchant selling weapons and tools. One year he bought a large number of glass axes from an elven smith in Morrowind and transported them in a caravan of wagons to Whiterun. Along the way, he was stopped by a tax collector of Eastmarch.

"The law," spoke the tax collector, "states that all transportation of axes, adzes, rakes and ploughs along the roads of Eastmarch incurs a tax upon each such item. How many of the aforesaid items are you transporting?"

"I don't have axes, adzes, rakes and ploughs," said Athalwyrm, "I only have glass axes."

"Don't joke," snapped the tax collector, "A glass axe is an axe, and an axe is subject to the tax."

"Not so," replied Athalwyrm, serenely, "An axe is an axe, and a glass axe is both glass and axe. If what I have are glass and axe, but not axe, adze, rake and plough, then how can I be taxed? One thing is added, and three are taken away."

The tax collector sighed. "I don't have time for this. How many axes do you have?"

Athalwyrm smiled helpfully at the man. "I don't just have axes, I have glass axes. How can I count the glass and the axe? When adding two such different items something will surely be missed. Then, even having reached a total, to remove the glass from the axe is impossible. Furthermore, when someone asks for an axe, he usually expects it to be made of iron or steel. When asked for an axe, to give an iron or steel axe is perfectly acceptable. But when asked for a glass axe, to give an iron or steel axe is not acceptable. When asked for a glass axe, to give a glass axe is the only acceptable response. So to ask for an axe is not the same as to ask for a glass axe. If you ask me about glass axes, of course I will tell you what you need to know."

"Fine, fine, whatever," said the tax collector in exasperation, "How many glass axes do you have?"

"I never heard any law about glass axes in Eastmarch," replied Athalwyrm with finality, "only a law about axes, adzes, rakes and ploughs. If the law does not name my goods as subject to tax, then I will not pay."

[The end of this dialogue has not survived.]

On the Matter of Mountains

Athalwyrm was walking in the hold of Hrothgar, near the holy mountain which is called the Throat of the World, when the Woodland Man appeared on the path ahead of him.

"Tell me, O Clever-Man," said the Woodland Man, "where is the tallest mountain?"

"I do not know which mountain is the tallest, but the tallest mountain that I know of is right ahead," replied Athalwyrm, gesturing past where the other was standing.

"Indeed," laughed the Woodland Man, "you do not know it, but the tallest mountain is the mountain of knowledge, and I am the map to its hidden paths. If you wish to climb the mountain, walk my path."

"And what good can your path and your mountain of knowledge do me?" inquired the Clever-Man.

The Woodland Man, seemingly surprised, answered: "You can learn all you wish to learn, solve any problem you wish to solve, and become the wisest of the wise. I invite you to do so. Come, walk with me."

"No, elf-demon," said Athalwyrm, "I will not take your path, nor will I trust you to guide me. The things that are unknown are much greater than the things that are known, and death is much longer than life. The greater part of the secrets of your realm are useless to me. To learn them would take my whole life, and you would not let me go free in death. I can find all the answers I need in my own clever head that was given to me by Shor." So saying, the Clever-Man kept walking and climbed the mountain.